ladyavatar
Pro-Bender
Ozai Fangirls, Represent!
Posts: 418
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Post by ladyavatar on Dec 4, 2012 21:25:20 GMT -6
Very nice work, ladies, and hmm . . . I wonder what ficlet that snippet is from. All I've gotten done is about 50% of that one-shot, which has reminded me how much I love looooooooong sentences in my initial drafts. Like this convoluted monster:
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay for revisions. XD
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Post by kathrynlacey on Dec 4, 2012 21:30:51 GMT -6
Ooooh, I totally feel you on not switching back and forth between perspectives in the same scene. I think it's weird and unnecessary... I'm only doing perspective switching for different scenes.
hahahah I have sentences like that in my drafts, too, ladyavatar. That's why we call them drafts, but they're good for just getting everything out on paper to ready it for the fine-tuning.
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Post by mrspettyfer on Dec 4, 2012 23:19:25 GMT -6
YES THIS. That's why I couldn't read Vampire Diaries. Spend a chapter with Elena talking about her interaction with Stefan. Then spend the next chapter with Stefan talking about the same damn thing, only in this perspective. *face palm* It was painful. I couldn't get past like two or three chapters lmao. I really like how Cassandra Clare does her POV changing. I think it also helps when you're featuring a story about a GROUP of characters. So when they go their separate ways, the POV changing feels more natural. Like a story based on the gaang. If Katara and Zuko go investigate something, while Aang and Toph fly to some temple, then I'd be fine with hearing Katara and Toph's POV, for example. But when you have a very single character centric story, like The Hunger Games, it would be really weird having multiple points of view. At least I think so. I keep getting these messages on tumblr asking about an update. Wish I even had a snippet to give them.
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ladyavatar
Pro-Bender
Ozai Fangirls, Represent!
Posts: 418
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Post by ladyavatar on Dec 5, 2012 18:21:16 GMT -6
About 75% done with this oneshot. Have another taste (this is a moment from Ozai's eighth birthday):
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Post by kathrynlacey on Dec 5, 2012 20:01:45 GMT -6
That is one messed up way to teach a kid about firebending... WTF! I really want to read your story, though!
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ladyavatar
Pro-Bender
Ozai Fangirls, Represent!
Posts: 418
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Post by ladyavatar on Dec 5, 2012 20:32:04 GMT -6
That is one messed up way to teach a kid about firebending... WTF! I really want to read your story, though! ^Thankfully it's a one-shot that only has the loosest of ties to Fire and Ice (they're both part of the same "canon" universe), so you'll hopefully actually be able to read this piece since it will be "complete" (because I know you have that one rule about not reading incomplete stuff, which I totally understand). But, yeah. Major Ozai feels throughout this whole piece - at least, if I write it well.
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azuremoon
Pro-Bender
~Azuremoon ♫ ΣΑΙ ♫
Posts: 524
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Post by azuremoon on Dec 5, 2012 21:48:39 GMT -6
FEELS WOMAN! I really feel like Ozai got more from daddy than he may have wanted to. @_@ I don't have many updates to post but...
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Post by advocaat on Dec 6, 2012 2:39:33 GMT -6
Oh, this is gonna be good. "I’m sure the sun will hear you." <--- awesome
Here's a snippet from my Day 7 (body-swap part II)
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ladyavatar
Pro-Bender
Ozai Fangirls, Represent!
Posts: 418
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Post by ladyavatar on Dec 6, 2012 8:25:49 GMT -6
Ahahaha - your writing is always a guarantee for a grin and giggle. Thank you for sharing the snippet! XD
Also, my progress is now somewhat back to zero because I feel like I may need to start over. Maybe doing that one-shot in third person was a bad idea because I haven't practiced in that POV for over five years. Everything I write just feels so much like telling and not showing. :/
For example, I feel this is "telling" and that bugs me so much:
/Sigh. Time to start from scratch, perhaps.
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Post by advocaat on Dec 6, 2012 10:24:46 GMT -6
I like it! I don't think it's too much like telling.
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