"That's So Gay"

[Admin]

Do you use it? Do you find it offensive? Are you indifferent?

[advocaat]

I find it offensive when someone uses this phrase simply because there are so many people who are offended by it. I don't want to promote phrases that hurt others.

[mrspettyfer]

Yeah, it slips out for me in replace of "that's lame" too. I have gay friends who say it also, with the same sort of meaning. Doesn't seem to offend anyone I know. I mean..sometimes I call my friend and say "Hey slut" but I don't really mean it in an offensive way, lmao. I think it's not necessarily the phrase, but how it's used, that makes it more offensive.

Like how someone could make the phrase "You're such a bitch" sound very offensive or not offensive at all. I don't know if I'm making sense..lmao.

[advocaat]

I agree with both of your points. I think context and knowing your audience is important. If I know no one is going to be offended, I don't care. I say offensive things jokingly all the time. It's when phrases and terms are used seriously or ignorantly that they become offensive to me, and I know that's true for a lot of people.

I think this text-from-the-fire-nation sums it up pretty well.

[chromeknickers]

I admit I'm indifferent to it because I never use the phrase. One of my best mates is gay, and I don't think he's ever been offended by it. It depends on the company you keep with, I guess. But I can tell you one thing phrase that often slips out of people's mouth when they don't mean to be offensive but it is the single most insulting thing to say to or in front of someone who is gay, and that is throwing around the term 'normal' or 'not normal'.

I recall a conversation my girlfriends and I were having about Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and my one friend (let's call her L) commented that while she liked Tara as a character she wished Willow would return to normal (for no one who has watched the show, Willow went from heterosexual in her high school years to a lesbian in college). Now L hadn't meant to insult gay people in general, but my gay friend, M, didn't see it that way. Of course he had every right to get upset. Why must he be considered not normal or abnormal? Needless to say, L felt terrible and apologised profusely.

So, in essence, I think the phrase's purported slander upon the gay community just depends on the company you keep. There are far worse things to say that don't sound nearly as bad upon first hearing but are far more insulting.

[dynamojacks]

No way, no how. I don't use it- haven't used it for years. D8 I personally don't see the need to use such a term to describe something you don't like. It does have a nasty association.
Though I do drop the occasional 'retarded' to mean 'stupid' (as in someTHING stupid), leeet's just say I don't do so in the near vicinity of Tumblr. <<;;; >>;;; possibledoublestandards?IDEK

[kathrynlacey]

I have used it on occasion, but I've been working really hard to remove that word from my vocabulary except when used appropriately. While I do agree with boogum that people are waaaaay over sensitive, and using that term isn't necessarily meant to be offensive, it still is to some people. Using the phrase "that's gay" to mean "that's bad" is basically adhering to the association that being gay is a negative thing. That's why I think so many people are offended by it.

I'm not... I mean, I'm not homosexual. I've experimented, sure, but it did absolutely nothing for me (neither enticed nor repulsed, really). However, even while I was trying to figure myself out, I wasn't offended by that statement. I'm just... not very affected by language as long as the tone isn't rude unless I have someone in the vicinity who doesn't like it; that's the time when I'll curb it.

I don't use the term myself any more. I use "lame" in place of "gay." I don't like to use the term "retarded," either, for the same reason, but much like with boogum, I'll slip, but I'm making a conscious effort to not do it.

[nami]

I grew up in the '90s when "That's so gay" meant "that is dumb", not "that is homosexual." It's "skater gay" which means, "stupid". I've never met anyone who was offended by it, but I am quite aware that it is offensive. I only use it around my sister because we both understand that I mean "that is stupid." And I find that really, no matter what you say or do, someone is going to be offended by it. It doesn't mean you can be insensitive, but I think people should realize that not everyone is trying to be /offensive/. I don't use it religiously, it just occasionally slips out.

[kaoru]

I've never used it.
I have a friend who's gay so I've never used the term.
If people get offended by the phrase then you shouldn't say it.

[pugletto]

I've trained myself out of it. My nephew and his friends use it a lot though, and it really grates on my nerves because it's synonymous with "stupid" to them and interchangeable with other random slurs that come up in their vocabulary from time to time.

It gets really gross hearing it after a while. Especially when you know what they really mean and how they react to things that are "gay" to them.